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Ah, computer dating. It's like pimping, but you rarely have to use the phrase "upside your head." You guys aren't Santa! You're not even robots. How dare you lie in front of Jesus? You don't know how to do any of those. Dear God, they'll be killed on our doorstep! And there's no trash pickup until January 3rd. Say what?

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Who said that? SURE you can die! You want to die?!

Uh, is the puppy mechanical in any way?

Now, now. Perfectly symmetrical violence never solved anything.

They're like sex, except I'm having them!

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